Can't you remember
How you loved it when
In the middle of the night
Laws and rules were bent
Daring with your friends
Risking getting caught
Endless hopes and dreams
Never believing you'd ever stop
Seeing what no one else could
Holding firm to who you were
Only letting go sometimes
Understanding never for sure
Listening to that inner child
Demanding to be seen
Baring him only occasionally
Else he hides in between
Hours of imaginary play
Even letting him make mistakes
As you entered into adulthood
Resting the wild child in your wake
Don't rob that of your own today
12.01.08
Let Them Be Children
Light Reading
They’re just words on paper
That I cannot even read
If the book sits on its shelf
Because you want me here
It’s a fictional world
I can escape to for a while
When my own is as it is
I’m only going a few short miles
But you express your displeasure
That sets the mood for tonight
I can only guess you want me here
So you can start another fight
Rather than let me go
And borrow someone else’s life
If only through a novel
But you hold me in your vice
So rather than read I will write
And share tonight for all to see
This life that no one would want
Unless they would prefer to not be free
11.19.08
If
If time was always enough
We wouldn't miss our time apart
If more miles of road were between us
You would still hold a place in our hearts
If we could change a day in the past
We'd collide together with you
For wanting you all to ourself
To share what we want to do
If tomorrow was not on our side
And we had nowhere to go
We'd still have our memories to keep
Safe in yesterdays of long ago
If words could be put to a song
That celebrates who you are
You'd see why we feel so blessed
In our lives you shine like a star
11.17.08 ~ for Joanne
If The Shoe Fits
Can you see what I see
Only if you wear my shoes
Can you understand my reason
For not letting you refuse
To set the right example
And hold each other up
While you bruise your hearts together
And share a tainted cup
If my actions cause an outcome
That backlashes to old shoes
Whose laces can't be tied
Due to breakage and wrong clues
Then the lesson won't be learned
And you'll lose your ability
To buy your own new shoes
And not see yourself in me
11.11.08
Tomorrow's Hope
It's the difference between seasons
Or the lines you cannot cross
The goodbye that went unsaid
The cliff you want to jump off
It's the belief in all your reasons
And the circle of inner hope
The prayer that you'll repeat
Before it's tossed to you, the woven rope
It's the truth behind the meaning
Or the points you need to make
In the letter you are writing
To show exactly what's at stake
It's the same what we are feeling
Like bullets that pierce our hearts
In the tribute we give a loved one
After death tears us apart
It's the lies we cannot swallow
Caught as whispers in the wind
And memories that will sustain us
When we start all over again
It's the truth you'll tell tomorrow
With tears that fall like rain
Release and be surrendered
From your inner hurt and pain
11.10.08
Your Side of The Fence
I woke up this morning
To the sound of falling rain
And you weren't there beside me
To take away this hurt and pain
Oh I can't piece together
The events of yesterday
You walked away from us
And said you couldn't stay
You said it's all too much
The kids, your job, our life
You stood there on our doorstep
Said you didn't want me to be your wife
But I heard everything you didn't say
In every other sentence
The tears you didn't cry can't free you
From our past along your way
You think it won't ever rain there
The place you claim you need to go
You're gonna hear those words over and over
Standing on your side of the fence
Remember how hot the sun can burn
When you stay out way too long
And you might regret where you wind up
Because home is where you always belonged
Now I must wake the children
Prepare us for this day
How to answer all their questions
Of why you went away
But the only thing you've forgotten
That stands the test of time
You won't last very long
Without everything you've left behind
And I heard everything you didn't say
In every other sentence
The tears you didn't cry can't free you
From our past along your way
You think it won't ever rain there
The place you claim you need to go
You're gonna hear those words over and over
Standing on your side of the fence
11.04.08
Corn Maze
Acres of darkness
Casting shadows in the night
Sharp turns and dead ends
We traverse left and right
Lost and separated in this maze
Looking for any way out
An infraction of this moment
That only leaves more doubt
10.20.08
Seeking What Matters
It’s a matter of discipline
Weakened over time
We have been beaten down
You continue to cross the line
Seeking not justice
But instead more self doubt
The mirror is warped
Hiding who it’s about
It’s a matter of identity
Lost to the past
You have become him anyway
Hidden beneath your grim mask
Seeking forgiveness
You know you can’t teach
He knows who you are
And will stay out of reach
It’s a matter of survival
And too many open wounds
Seeking lost comfort
Abandoned all too soon
10.15.08
Ripple Effects
The water will ripple
With the toss of the stone
Yet imbalance is caused
Even before it is thrown
How long it can skip
Will depend on the strength
Not just at release
Where you measure the length
Gravity will hold it
Somewhere down below
Claiming a new surface
Where nobody will know
In this spot it will stay
Until its exposure through droubt
To be picked up again
And tossed farther out
Ensuring this time its depth
Will not behold its existence
For here it will lie
And seek further resistance
To grow or be moved
Beyond this drowning location
Stilling the water
In its limited salvation
10.13.08
First Embrace
His eyes were kind and warm
His spirit as gentle as his hands
A promise made the day he was born
To do all that his job would demand
Keeping him well as he should
Watching him grow year to year
Entrusting his life as he would
And offering his brothers to bear
Filling their charts with his notes
That told of their health and growth
But hidden from all that he wrote
Was the seed he had long since sowed
Hearing their tiny hearts as they beat
Breaking their mother’s so that she would weep
Not counting on his sudden departure
That took him away all too soon
It is not the time for us to see this juncture
What of the visits that will not take place in those rooms
And the one where they have grown to be teens
Where he would remember them once so small
The memories will be there in between
Ever since they ran noisily up and down the halls
Though the pain of his loss will diminish over time
I will always be proud that my sons’ pediatrican, he was mine
10.12.08
Blessings
It was a long ago dream
I still envision today
That nagging self-doubt
That just won't go away
What ifs and whys
Torment me each day
Since the past stole my future
In this bed I must lay
Regrets, there are many
So silently I pray
To appreciate the blessings
That have all come my way
10.06.08
Yet Again
You think we don't notice
How the sky turns to night
When you walk in the door
We must prepare for a fight
Something is missing
Or something is wrong
Another thing broken
And it's the same old song
We put up with your bitterness
Nowhere to hide
Love edged with resentment
That can't be defied
Hasten the hours
To end this bad day
But the light of the morrow
Won't lead us away
Hope for our future
Dies in our hearts
You won't set us free
So we live together, apart
10.06.08
Broken Glass
I reach out to catch you
- Too late
Your reflection is cut into
Pieces
Glass still trapped in its frame
Lies shattered on the floor
Not unlike your very spirit,
Or my hope
Slipping away from us
While we try to hold on
To the broken fragments
Cutting through our hands
As we fight not to lose our grip
Before it's too late
09.27.08
Two Years Ago
Yesterday we laughed
And yesterday we cried
Today we remember you
But still can't understand why
It must have been what was needed
More laughter and joy above
You were chosen for your smile
And of course, your warmth and love
Tomorrow won't be the same
Your absence we still know and feel
But even with all of the pain
Slowly we continue to heal
~In memory of Brian
09.17.08
Tough Love
Storms will come and go
Yet you thrive on the risk of their danger
You will reap whatever you sow
And can’t run away from your anger
Slicing my heart with coarse words
Mocking me and letting me bleed
Even if you don’t mean what I’ve heard
It’s too late – you’ve planted the seed
Choices too difficult to make
Leaves my heart feeling like a stone
I’ll consider for us safety’s sake
Which means you will have to leave home
For the family, I must take a stand
But I will never let go of your hand
09.16.08
Sudden Death
Turn back the clock
This was not supposed to happen
Turn back the clock
I cannot bear this painful loss
Let me do it over again
I'll hold you to what should have been
Turn back the clock
09.16.08
Undreamt
Silence trapped in every corner
It is worse than a rainy day Monday
Idling at the edge of the border
I can still hear everything you don’t say
Your dreams are way out of reach
As dormant as the darkness is black
A trust that too many times has been breeched
Too stubborn to try to turn back
Forward together we must go
To the fork ahead at the bend
Debts to each other we still owe
Will go unpaid even to the end
The cost for these dreams is too great
For they cannot be found hand in hand
They will never be worth the wait
When you can’t move your feet in quicksand
08.06.08
Back to School
Yesterday couldn't stay
And summertime will take a bow
We return from being away
And longer days slowly fade
Knowing that this is how
We must conform to newer ways
Holding fast to the memories we made
As school bells we hear ring out
No more summer days
Now hearing the teachers say
We are together here and now
An education is ours to claim
Wanting to learn is more than okay
Taking it for granted we shouldn't allow
We can't shine hiding in the shade
So welcome back to the classroom today
Where did our summer go? Wow!
Time for school and don't be late
And tomorrow, come what may
08.01.08
Summer Sun
As invisible as it is free
Reaching the depth of my soul
I let it completely surround me
Filling, surrounding and taking hold
Fire that whispers against my skin
Competing with a single breeze
It grows and spreads from deep within
To be lost one day to a freeze
Clinging to the moment I lose myself
To captivity of its strength
Wishing I could store it on a shelf
To remember long after the season is spent
I worship it as long as I can
Tranquility I grasp in the palm of my hand
07.19.08
Kerri & Gregory 6.22.96
Gregory,
On this day as we are
United in marriage
You might offer me a penny
For my thoughts
And this
I would say to you...
You once wondered
If you were strong enough
Yet you have shared your strength
With me
Throughout our journey together
Even when our steps were distanced
Apart
And I skinned my knees, ripped my jeans
On the many paved, cobblestone,
Crushed stone and dirt roads
We have traversed
You were always there to
Pick me up
We have traveled far
We have traveled long
Happiest when we strode beside
So we held on
Walked on
Held and kissed and bear hugged
You are my friend, companion
I am happy to share with you
Dreams, love, life
As we embark
Into our future
And this joyous ride
That will not break our ties
Of the past
But instead strengthen them
With the bond of love we share
For each other
And I love you
Always
In my heart, my soul, my mind
If you wonder...
Penny for...
06.96
Memories To Keep
They are memories to keep
But with you forever
They are memories to keep
Even now as you weep
And you’ll always remember
Your yesterdays together
They are memories to keep
~For Anthony's Dad
06.19.08
Self Abuse
Walking a fine line
Tiptoeing around edges
Of your dark being
Unable to offer peace
Or repair what is broken
Throwing a lifeline
That you refuse to accept
Trapped in the darkness
Where our love is forbidden
But where you know you’ll still hurt
Your soul burns with fire
Angry and burning of deceipt
Distorting the truths
You can see from your corner
Which you let drop at your feet
Running to nothing
Except all that still haunts you
Stubborn pride traps you
The mirror reflects mistakes
Surrounding you like poison
You think we can’t see
Your visible bleeding wounds
Hidden behind eyes
That can’t sleep a peaceful dream
While crying your silent tears
Turn yourself around
Come away from the edges
Love can’t hold you there
And the fight cannot be won
Until you let yourself heal
05.07.08
Summer
Our best kept memories are made
When summer promises its best heat
And we long for coolness in the shade
The strength of the sun is best played
Pushing us to resistant defeat
When autumn will be long delayed
Each day will leave us frayed
When yesterday will again repeat
And we long for coolness in the shade
Along shorelines we will go to wade
Cool water to wet our feet
When autumn will be long delayed
Strong heat that cannot be swayed
Fewer places are left to meet
And we long for coolness in the shade
This season has never stayed
But is the strongest to never be beat
And we long for coolness in the shade
When autumn will be long delayed
04.27.08
Walkaway Joe
I didn't want to believe
You would close the door for good
Expecting to see a reprieve
Of the figure for which you stood
You could hold two hearts of hope
Yet never let them meet
Balancing on the tight rope
And refusing to admit self defeat
You walked away from the past
And left one love behind
But it would not be your last
Do you really think God is blind?
Tonight I ended this game
I poured your liquor down the drain
04.25.08
We Will Remember
Our hearts know in deep silence
The best kept dreams they behold
Of a distant place and time
Where we are sheltered from the cold
When the past wasn’t just yesterday
Not feeling the pain of losing you
We recall them with laughter and tears
These dreams that have already come true
You have gone on to that place of grace
Where your soul has been set free
Even though we will miss your smile
In our hearts you will forever be
So during these moments in silence
When our dreams dare to take flight
We feel blessed to have had your presence
In our lives you have made so bright
Ralph R. Simone, Sr.
10/24/21 ~ 04/18/06
Far Away Sisters
We were supposed to grow up together
Connecting our childhood to adult years
Even if sisterhood is forever
It would mean more if you were here
Between them, our children are strangers
Long distance cousins lost in time
Unable to savor the other's life flavors
Unmade memories they leave behind
We each live our lives day to day
Caught up in raising them right
They turn into empty yesterdays
And we forget what we saw in hindsight
Too far away to meet
I will never drive down your street
4.12.08
Knowing
If you know me
And my inner child
Then you would surely see
That I see through you
And this game you play
I have been in your shoes
I understand your ways
But you show a cold heart
A door you frequently keep locked
Inside, it tears you apart
But that line you won't cross
If you look you'll see why
I can hear your faint cry
03.29.08
Finding Hope
I sit
Here in this church
Letting Him soothe my heart
And give me the strength to believe
In us
03.29.08
Best Friends Forever
Sometimes unbeknownst to you
I look in the mirror and see
Eyes so clear and blue
That are yours looking back at me
And I wonder if you ever recall
The memories we shared in the past
No matter how big or small
They are ours to cherish and last
There are times when you will be missed
As our paths will cross and separate
We'll fulfill our own dreams that we wished
When we blew out the candles on our cake
So even when we are far apart
Forever you'll be in this girl's heart
03.24.08
03.24.08
Spring On The Shore
The ocean knows
In its coldness
The lonely walkers
Along its shore
Less as the season's
Wind grows warmer
As its force fades
In the seasonal transition
When winter dies
The walkers' solitude is
Now among many
Who frequent the shore
Where the spring sun
Is open and bright
That is their blanket
Of warmth
Against the breeze over
The sea
Lingering in spring's
New birth
circa 03.90
published 04.15.90 in the Sunday Eagle-Tribune
Sea Breeze High
Like walking the halls of Sea Breeze High
Our footprints are many along the shore
There isn’t a question of who or why
We all take the place of alumnae before
The window reflects a part of our past
Of the memories we once made
Four years which seem to pass so fast
Become moments we try to reclaim
Sand crabs we are who walk together
Backwards, we still leave our marks
Over a long span of ten decades to forever
Tears of joy are held in our hearts
We will always walk here hand in hand
Even long after our castles turn to sand
03.19.08
Sunday Afternoons
We met
Faithfully then
Weaving our lives tightly
Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents
To eat
03.15.08
The Brightest Color Of My Rainbow
We were two little girls
So close with thoughts
And so distant with dreams
Best friends to each other
Yet always determined
To have best friends of our own
We enhanced our lives
Through the other's differences
And never let go of similarities
For fear of breaking the bond we shared
Still the years gave to us each
Identities of our own
With which we fulfill
Even with the other's beliefs
And with the memories we both have
I want you to keep
As a special remembrance
That you are and always shall be
The brightest color of my rainbow
--To Karen on our 21st birthday
Love you, Kerri
3/3/89
Recollections
With determination I set them free
Haunting memories at the back of my mind
I watch them play out before me
Yet they are sometimes all I can see
Moments I try not to find
In her brown eyes I see me
Moments unlocked with just a key
When my life wasn’t so kind
I watch them play out before me
Unknowing this does not have to be
But those to whom she will bind
In her brown eyes I see me
A reaction that becomes jerk-knee
Reliving moments I hid behind
I watch them play out before me
Thankful today to be free
Of actions that still will rewind
I watch them play out before me
In her brown eyes I see me
2.12.08
The Alcoholic Spouse
When the priest asked for objections
I was already standing up
Supporting my friend in her projection
Of a life filled with happiness and love
Through rose colored glasses she did see
A mistake unbeknownst to her
Thinking this is how love should be
And is typical behind many closed doors
In the bottom of his glass he will see
Blurred memories of yesterday
Never realizing he can't be free
If he keeps living his life this way
Unwilling to admit he needs her
She holds on tightly to their past
Thinking they can still be forever
Wishing she could just have him back
2.3.08
Winter
Where warmth is unwanted
In an already cold world
Next to a season of birth
Tangent to its sphere
Edged with mortal force
Relentlessly lingering
2.1.08
Lies
If your words were like rain
They would start falling as a mist
Covering all of this inner pain
That can’t be held inside your fist
You release them into the wind
Blowing its cold lonesome song
A reminder of how you have sinned
Being where you don’t belong
It falls and leaves hurting marks
The raindrops that turn to sleet
You can hold your fist to your heart
Where the pain is growing so deep
You know what you have to do
Unless your words remain untrue
2.1.08
Understood
I hear your soft words
Echo through my beating heart
True friendship begins
Happy Birthday, A.
1.29.08
Happily Never After
You lie here beside me
Yet we lie together alone
And in the darkness you can’t see
That this house is a far cry from a home
I won’t dream about you tonight
As I drift off to a restless sleep
And before the darkness turns to light
I’ll have new memories that I’ll let keep
Because even if they are not real
They will carry me through the day
Thoughts that you can’t try to steal
As you only push me farther away
We can stand alone together
Until one of us gives up on forever
1.28.08
Storms
I searched my silent soul
To look for the choice words
Trapped in a darkened hole
To be written instead here first
Warmth turned to hurt and anger
As you let the rainfall pour onto me
No umbrella for me to stand under
Visions blurred to what we can’t see
Good enough is only half the truth
In a life we play out each day
Casting shadows under the roof
Where you insist we all must stay
We each lick our wounds
For the hurting marks are there
As we brace for another round
Of the storms you always share
Lost to where you will go
In a place I refuse to know
1.28.08
Jeffrey
Jewel of my heart
Edged with innocence
Free with laughter
Forever singing to my heart
Rich with warmth and pride
Empty of anything dark
Youngest and cherished son
01.18.08
Abandonment
To remember them
Like they never went away
In the quiet night
When darkness stole all she had
Brings brief comfort lost to pain
01.18.08
Losing Faith
I can't
Pretend it's okay
Knowing you don't love me
Casts doubt over my fragile heart
Breaking
01.18.08
The Black Sheep
His darkened rage
Becomes his angry temper
That cannot be caged
Consuming the child I remember
He once laughed at the moon
And embraced in his life the sun
Which now sets each day too soon
Where I fear who he will become
Someone who finds himself broken
In a world he cannot escape
Trapped in hurt words unspoken
Bound by his own red tape
All of these things bind him
Lost to where I can't find him
01.06.08
Inward Anger
It grows and burns
Like fire,
And there aren't enough
Tears to put it out.
It lasts and lasts until
It finally charrs you,
Leaving smoldering smoke
That suffocates...
10.19.87
Death of a Child
Tear-stained faces
Gathered in a room
For grieving.
Two strong emotions
Conflicting in a room
For remembering.
One small being
Sleeping near a clock
Forever.
9.25.87
You Yet Are Not Alone
What are you doing?
Alone that you are.
Your life seems so small,
You wander not far.
How do you sleep?
Alone every night.
You protect yourself,
Yet have no fright.
When do you cry?
Alone with your thoughts.
Emotions hidden deep,
Are hardly ever sought.
Where have you been?
Alone all your life.
A world of such solitude,
Not brilliant and bright.
Why do you believe?
Alone is not lonely.
Too much is just that,
Alone and not free.
9.4.87
Loneliness
It's a powerful force
Force that comes not known
Known to immobilize you
You feel emptiness
Emptiness that lasts so long
So long that seems forever
Forever taking away your time
Time that is so real
Real moments that are wasted
Wasted by the evil
Evil emotions that can kill
2.22.87
Snowdrifts
Aimless destinations
They blow with the wind
Snowflakes that form
In permanent places
To settle for a while
Until another form of nature
Domineers in the day
Fighting in long cold battles
Only with the snowdrifts
That are barriers within and for
Themselves
1.26.87
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