Weakened Knots

It is delicate and thin
Frayed at the edges
Knots tied together
From the repeated pledges

They are feet that are weary
From pacing the floor
Traversing only old places
To remember vows from before

It is bruised and often heavy
Too close to breaking
Tho strong for tomorrow
And reasons it is taking

They are lost in their ignorance
Unwilling to learn
That He offers His hand
At each and every turn

It is removed from its place
Every evening for use
To hold not just the wine
But also the excuse

To tie yet another knot
Not to take the same path
To show them that love
Can be toasted from the glass

That offers a new start
Letting go of the past
With broken wings they’ll fly
Finding a new path to explore at last

12.16.09

Truth That Lies

The water underneath the creaking bridge
Through sunny day storms will recede and rise
Testing the strengths of the brave ones
Dividing them between the truth that lies
Visible beyond but way out of reach
Except for the ones who will together hold hands
Knowing strength in numbers will keep them alive
Despite breeching morals that dissolve like sand
They will toss out a rope to save their own
And turn a blind eye to the dog paddlers
Who will eventually make way to solid ground
Still not losing sight of what really matters
They’ll shake off the remnants of dirt
And with the others on that bridge will stand
While their own might be lost to keep it from breaking
Knowing it’s needed to connect the two lands
They will accept in silence their continued defeat
And some may choose not to always follow
The ones who pretend to be who they are not
Because popularity is their only shadow
Thinking they are safer in greater numbers
Losing sight of who they really are
The underdogs see especially on sunny days
Because the colors of shadows are always dark

11.14.08

Tempered Glass

Every time you scream
You risk shattering the glass
That divides us as we are
Holding on while running fast
To save our scrambling feet
From being cut by the sharp edges
We foresee quickly falling down
In your angry frightening message
And once the glass is broken
It cannot be repaired
The cracks won't hold us here
Because we no longer will have cared
To attempt to block the blows
That are your words of misuse
Untouchable we'll be to you
And the glass will be bullet-proof

10.14.09

Sideline View

What only can be sought
Or released in his exertion
You capture in his mistakes
And toss back trying to hurt him

To withstand your raw reprimanding
And suspending the actions around
Hit harder than you might have expected
To reveal this that has been found

Twenty lashings would have hurt less
And he might have moved yet forward
But kicking him while he was down
Only reflected what could have been avoided

It was a poor example of your claim
That you will strive to make him better
It is clear now that there had to be
Many hidden storms he has had to weather

So justify your words with his faults
And pretend that it doesn’t matter
While you never saw him at his worst
You should know we strive to capture

What can only be achieved
Or gained in his true person
He finds in his own worth
Where you only more will worsen

Anger from the storms we’ve endured
And the example you choose to lead
But you have forced him to further shut down
Because you have already planted the seed

It is rivalry at its best
And one that we will never overcome
To say we tried but can try no more
Is the only way this game can be won

10.04.09

Angela

A lazy summer day meets its end
Nightfall will shadow the moon
Giving dreams their chance to take flight
Else they would die in the darkness too soon
Like the quiet place deep in your soul
As you let them keep and carry you whole

06.14.09

Coloring My World Bright

Sometimes I wonder
Where I'd be
If I didn't have the
Friendship of thee
For seeing me through
My darkest days
And showing such kindness
In so many ways
For holding my hand
And keeping me strong
For making me believe
I could do no wrong
When I found I
Couldn't help myself
You alone were
All my help
For being there
You made me see
Just how important
You are to me
And with gratitude
I want you to know
How you've colored my life
With your brilliant rainbow

02.07.89

A Silence Too Quiet

It was as quiet as I
Allowed the day to be
I was free to do what I wanted
But the silence of the telephone
And having no one to talk to
Changed the peaceful quiet
To lonely solitude
It was as lonely as I
Hoped the day wouldn't be

02.05.89

My Colors, Your Colors

You can play upon my emotions
And touch me with your words
You know you say the sweetest things
That I've ever heard
And even in our silence
Of me you can have a hold
Because the colors shining from you
Illuminate my soul

11.05.88

Until Then

Today I felt unhappy
Until I saw a child
Laughing
Then I laughed too

Today I felt like crying
Until I saw an old mean
Smiling
Then I smiled too

Today I felt lonely
Until I saw two friends
Hug
Then I thought of you

11.03.88

Charade

I saw it in her eyes -
The emptiness
I had felt as less,
Unable to ruse
To the expectation
I needed for me,
For tomorrow to be
A stranger's revelation.

11.02.88

The Pain In My Heart

It's just little me again
Thinking about you to pass the time
It has never been easy for me
To get you off of my mind

So I've finally come to realize
And just wanted you to know
There will always be a part of me
That will never let you go

That part of me will hurt
Each day and this is because
I miss you with all my heart
And it's a pain of absent love

08.23.88

Realizing Our Fate

When fate brought you to me
I was lost and so alone
I didn't think anyone could
Take my heart
Without me wanting it back
For myself
But I'm realizing each time
You're with me
That I want to share it
With you

I don't want to disappoint you
With false expectations
But my hopes parallel yours
And although my heart has
Been bruised
Loving you seems to be the
Best remedy

Still I sometimes stumble
Into darkness
And find myself not making
Sense
I cry for no apparent reason
Even when I'm holding you close
In my arms

Please don't displace my moments
Of apathy
With inner guilt or even fault
For it's only my way of learning
To keep myself content
While I want to make you
Happy
As you have done
When fate brought you to me

05.07.89

Broken Commandments

While there are two to a marriage
There should always be three
Without Him beside us
We are blind not to see
Anger us divides
And we say unkind things
Unable to save each other
And enjoy what life brings
To seek rest and prayer
Even one day a week
For cleansing our souls
Is not just for the meek
Where respect has been weakened
Amongst even descendents
Who lack what we can’t give them
With modified commandments
Although no one has died
At the hands of a crime
What becomes of the spirit
Whose hands that can bind
Though they won’t hold another
While the vows have been sworn
Imagination can run deep
In a life yet to be born
A heart you can hold
But not claim to be yours
If another one will steal it
Without any remorse
If your life is their business
And they’ve burdened the worst
They might think they are justified
To share in what hurts
It’s a wound that won’t heal
And no pride can replace
For no angels can watch over
What you continue to erase
So within your walls you might stay
And continue to hide
But there is room for you with Him
Should you walk by his side

04.20.09

Staying and Going

I’m here where I belong
And I’m not there where I should be
Tethered to this book we write
Whose pages are torn and incomplete
Like a diary that nobody should see
Whose meaning you will make your own
Erasing what really matters
While casting too many stones
Heavy as my heart has become
Weakened to toss them away
So they pile up along the boundaries
Of our life from which we can’t stray
I’m still here where I belong
And from there I still stay gone

04.12.09

Gratitude

I’d give my life for them
And I’d run away from them
For a moment of silence
Deaf to my ears
For a moment in the sun
Blanketing my soul
For a moment to remember
How much I miss them
And I’d run to them
Because they are my life

02.25.09

I See Right Through You

It’s like saying it’s yellow
When it’s really gold
Or pretending to change
And conform to a mold
Where you can’t quite fit
To the stories you’ve told
And warmth is still absent
Even away from the cold
Your eyes will betray you
In your imagination so bold
You think you’re so clever
With your cards that you hold
Refusing to back down
And admit you should fold
Keep lying to yourself
But I won’t ever be undersold

02.25.09

Rape of Innocence

He opened the door
Without knowing
That fire spreads more quickly
And we all breathe the same
Oxygen
Too late to shut out the images
That should never have been seen
Now burned and charred along
With their innocence
That can’t be reclaimed once
You’ve been raped
Bless the child who lit the match
That started the fire
Where oceans of water can’t
Drown the flames
Or wash away his parents’ sins
That smolder in the aftermath
So knock down the debris and rebuild
Or renovate and repair the damage
With the likelihood that every damp day
Thereafter
Will permeate that memory you are trying
So hard to erase
And the soil under which the door had stood
Will never know drought
Yet no matter how hard you try to plant
The seeds to bloom flowers
Only ugly weeds will emerge
Offering polluted oxygen you don't want to
Breathe


02.18.09

Self-doubt

He stands outside the circle
Unwilling to step over the line
Looking at the broken pieces
Of what he must leave behind
Turning his back to that life
And slowly making his way
From the pieces he couldn't fix
Since he threw them all away
Soon coming upon a door
Open and welcoming
But he passes it by moving on
Certain he will never fit in
One meant to live alone
Having broken so long ago
Unable to step over the line
And becoming his only foe

Fall '08

Dead Words

Sometimes you toss
Your words around
Like the wind tosses
Dead leaves
And when I refuse to
Catch them
They will fall dormant
At my feet
You can gather them
In a pile
And again toss them
In the air
But they will fall to the
Ground again
And again onto deaf ears
Harsh winds, I will steal
Myself against
And block them out with
A stockade fence

02.03.09

Chipped Paint

It is still there
That first layer of paint
Buried under several coats
A hidden but permanent stain
No matter its color
That will remind you of time
You thought you buried forever
In the past you left behind
Time moves forward
As we all tend to do
But it still catches up
And will always chase you
So knock the wall down
Or just move away
But you’ll always find that color
To remind you of yesterday
What was the first layer then
You’ll use to hide once again

01.23.09

Truth

They are among the non-believers
Who think it’s all a ruse
As if it’s possible to even see
through the fabrics of the wool
That was never theirs to claim
As an excuse for accusation
That she’d reveal her clusterfook
As the means of affirmation
That the tale is as real today
With the promise for tomorrow
They will likely take for granted
While they mistake all of our sorrow
Casting stones as hard as their hearts
they could not possibly understand
She couldn’t fabricate what she has endured
When it was always in his His hands

01.18.09

Thelma & Louise

You want me to hold the line
And risk all that I have
Thinking with you I’ll find
How good it feels to be bad
The vows I made would be breeched
Though forgiven at a confession
A cross road you have reached
Has taught me an invaluable lesson
I ask Him, “Can I help her?”
I hear, “Regard all that she sees.
An accomplice to her being Thelma
You don’t have to be her Louise.”
Go on and have your affair
It’s a risk I’m not willing to dare

01.04.09