Wrong Again

From the first time I met you,
Something wasn't right.
The red flag appeared
While you put on a show,
Thinking no one would know,
Or call you out on what you feared.

Your secret gathered dust through the years,
While you pushed loved ones away far and near.
Wanting only this as your lover and friend,
Stripping your identity so you'd feel incomplete,
Covering up morals with lies and deceit.
Thinking what you have would never have to end.
Wrong again.

Everybody sees
A breech in this decree.
Camouflaged reason,
Twisting what you see,
Misrepresenting who you'd be,
And it turns into quiet treason.

And nobody would touch the coat of dust.
Waiting on you to eventually realize you must
Know soon you'll have to explain,
That you have to make it right,
Still so blinded by the light,
And the guilt you'll no longer feign.
Wrong again.

It seems you think this game can last,
Passing the chance to uncover your mask.
Redeem yourself and lower the flag.
Leave the secrets in the dark;
They've already left their mark.
You hope no one will discover your sins in that bag.
Wrong again,
Wrong again.

12.31.16

©Kerri L. Stanley

Puzzle Pieces

I know I'm probably overthinking it all too much,
Trying to get inside your head to understand.
So many sleepless nights piled up behind me,
While I try to fit together the puzzle pieces in your hand.

I can already see the picture in my mind,
As clear and bright as the blazing sun.
You should put all the pieces back in the box,
And leave it undone and turn around and run.

Thousands of pieces enclosed in the box,
It tumbles over and they fall to the floor.
When you pick them all up, you will lose some,
And it will never be complete and you'll lose even more.

I can't tell you what I see in each tiny piece,
Or that it's something you shouldn't even do.
Hours and hours spent pouring over its fragments,
Whose picture in your mind you'll cling fast to.

I see you struggle with the picture you want to see,
And it will never be what you imagine in your mind.
Desperate to force the pieces where they don't go,
You'll manipulate the image and cross over that frayed line.

Thousands of pieces enclosed in the box,
It tumbles over and they fall to the floor.
When you pick them all up, you will lose some,
And it will never be complete and you'll lose even more.

I can already see the picture in my mind,
As dark and lonely as your broken soul.
Saddened that you'll choose to hold those puzzle pieces,
Continuing to believe you need them to make you feel whole.

Thousands of pieces enclosed in the box,
It will never be complete, no never complete,
Just like the unjust satisfaction in your soul.

12.30.16

©Kerri L. Stanley

Without You Here

Those boxes on the shelf went for years untouched,
I took them down the other day. 

Photos of you I'd forgotten all about 

From all those birthdays and holidays.

I've been moving on as best I can with my life.

I've even let go of all that fear

Of not knowing how I'd ever survive through the years,

But that I'd have to even without you here. 

I'm not trying to make excuses,

But sometimes I just wanna disappear.

Now the memories are all I have left;

It's not easy being me without you here. 

The boxes are back up on the shelf,

Things I know I'll never be able to throw away.

I wish I could take one more picture of you,

I wish we could have one more day. 

I'm not trying to make excuses,

But sometimes I just wanna disappear.

Now the memories are all I have left;

It's not easy being me without you here. 

No, I'm not trying to make excuses,

I'm just going day to day without you here. 

12.16.16
©Kerri L. Stanley

Demons and Storms

Well I should have known this day would come 

The sun can't shine every day in a row

Those clouds will turn gray soon enough 

Wrapped in silence you'll come and you'll go

I don't know why you choose to take this path

Every year you refuse to change course

And the story is always the same outcome

But you'll forge on for better or for worse

I can't go down that road again

I can't fight your demons anymore 

I'm not afraid of the storm that'll ensue

Or of breaking the silence when I close that door

I don't know what the future will hold 

But it's time to let go of today 

You know I can't stay locked up in that room 

With the broken pieces of what I'm trying to say

I can't go down that road again

I can't fight your demons anymore 

I'm not afraid of the storm that'll ensue

Or of breaking the silence when I close that door

I'm not afraid of finding a new road to follow

With or without you, for richer or poorer

But I can't fight your demons anymore

No I can't go down that road anymore  

12.14.16
©Kerri L. Stanley

Pendulum

The pendulum keeps swinging,
Writing the history that shouldn't take place,

With permanent markers that can't erase

Your lies and deception and fall from grace. 

It is who you pretend to want to be,

A sad story so tainted and fabricated,

In the hallmark card and to the girl in the mirror,

Broken dreams adding up in unrelenting fervor. 

Back and forth from fact to fiction,

Pushing past moral grounds and values,

Slanting to the constant fractured and blurred lines,

Until you're so lost to the passing of time.

It is like a trance, what the pendulum will do,

You pace yourself to its hypnotic rhythm,

You want him to be your above average Joe.

Unable to see that with you Joe can never go. 

The pendulum keeps on swinging,

It's arc widening to its witnesses' berth.

So many versions of the story are now written,

It's just a matter of time before others will listen.

12.05.16

©Kerri L. Stanley