I'll Be Fine

I can't seem to find the words
That cloud my mind in the night
Stealing sweet dreams as they do
And leaving me lost in this plight
It's like trying to carry cold water
That slips through my hands with the time
That before me seems endless and vast
Too much, not enough, and sublime 

So I keep moving on
Put one foot in front of the other 
Knowing if only you'd let me go
That tomorrow I'd be just fine 

Funny how things seem okay
When you get what you want sometimes
We pretend this is how it's supposed to be
And keep walking that line that's so fine 
And I know we want different things
But you can't give me what I need 
What keeps you awake at night
Goes unspoken and dies in my heed 

So I keep moving on
Put one foot in front of the other 
Knowing if only you'd let me go
That tomorrow I'd be just fine 

So I keep moving on, moving on
And someday tomorrow I'll be just fine 

12.1.12

Forgiven

You haven't noticed how long it has been
Since we walked hand in hand through our lives
That you left me way back in the fork in the road
Resisting you and your sins and dreamless desires
Thinking mediocre is enough to sustain us
Nudging me along to keep pace with your step
Hoping my silence is my gratuitous consent
Not seeing that now there is really nothing left
Your weakness will blind you to the sad truth
But I continue to follow you down a treacherous slope
Because I know of no other means of survival
And my heavy heart has long since buried all hope
You can carry me every time I might stumble
I can hold onto you for wanting what you can't give
We will continue this journey because it's good enough for you
And because even a broken heart can still know how to forgive

11.25.12

Song, Interrupted

That the melody of the song
Should change halfway through
Like a memory that burns through time
Fading to colors of gray and blue
Heartbeat in rhythm to the drums
Aching from constant pain
A door left open to the cold
Crying eyes seeing only the rain
Did you know this is how it would end?
That your shadow would always be there
Now silent, you ended the song
That we still hear ever day, everywhere

11.25.12

Understood

I can't explain its presence
How it sneaks into my soul
Willing me to acknowledge its depth
For without it I am not whole
Its transparency well hidden from most
Who will bury it with false pretense
But my eyes see more than is there
The pain that was felt for when
It is thought nobody else will know
Or understand the worth of this pain
For the tears hidden with the secret
Are like mine and unfalling rain
You don't know I know who you are
And I won't reveal that I know your song
But I'll think of you during those times
And with the feeling I'll carry on
As you do through your life
Thinking nobody else can see
The fragility of your heart
That makes you just like me

02.15.12