Until Then

Today I felt unhappy
Until I saw a child
Laughing
Then I laughed too

Today I felt like crying
Until I saw an old mean
Smiling
Then I smiled too

Today I felt lonely
Until I saw two friends
Hug
Then I thought of you

11.03.88

Charade

I saw it in her eyes -
The emptiness
I had felt as less,
Unable to ruse
To the expectation
I needed for me,
For tomorrow to be
A stranger's revelation.

11.02.88

The Pain In My Heart

It's just little me again
Thinking about you to pass the time
It has never been easy for me
To get you off of my mind

So I've finally come to realize
And just wanted you to know
There will always be a part of me
That will never let you go

That part of me will hurt
Each day and this is because
I miss you with all my heart
And it's a pain of absent love

08.23.88

Realizing Our Fate

When fate brought you to me
I was lost and so alone
I didn't think anyone could
Take my heart
Without me wanting it back
For myself
But I'm realizing each time
You're with me
That I want to share it
With you

I don't want to disappoint you
With false expectations
But my hopes parallel yours
And although my heart has
Been bruised
Loving you seems to be the
Best remedy

Still I sometimes stumble
Into darkness
And find myself not making
Sense
I cry for no apparent reason
Even when I'm holding you close
In my arms

Please don't displace my moments
Of apathy
With inner guilt or even fault
For it's only my way of learning
To keep myself content
While I want to make you
Happy
As you have done
When fate brought you to me

05.07.89

Broken Commandments

While there are two to a marriage
There should always be three
Without Him beside us
We are blind not to see
Anger us divides
And we say unkind things
Unable to save each other
And enjoy what life brings
To seek rest and prayer
Even one day a week
For cleansing our souls
Is not just for the meek
Where respect has been weakened
Amongst even descendents
Who lack what we can’t give them
With modified commandments
Although no one has died
At the hands of a crime
What becomes of the spirit
Whose hands that can bind
Though they won’t hold another
While the vows have been sworn
Imagination can run deep
In a life yet to be born
A heart you can hold
But not claim to be yours
If another one will steal it
Without any remorse
If your life is their business
And they’ve burdened the worst
They might think they are justified
To share in what hurts
It’s a wound that won’t heal
And no pride can replace
For no angels can watch over
What you continue to erase
So within your walls you might stay
And continue to hide
But there is room for you with Him
Should you walk by his side

04.20.09

Staying and Going

I’m here where I belong
And I’m not there where I should be
Tethered to this book we write
Whose pages are torn and incomplete
Like a diary that nobody should see
Whose meaning you will make your own
Erasing what really matters
While casting too many stones
Heavy as my heart has become
Weakened to toss them away
So they pile up along the boundaries
Of our life from which we can’t stray
I’m still here where I belong
And from there I still stay gone

04.12.09

Gratitude

I’d give my life for them
And I’d run away from them
For a moment of silence
Deaf to my ears
For a moment in the sun
Blanketing my soul
For a moment to remember
How much I miss them
And I’d run to them
Because they are my life

02.25.09