Here

The heartbreak in this town
Echoes with your name,
And the rain that fell all day long,
On the day He took you Home
Could never compare to our
Collective tears.

Are you there?
Because you are no longer here.
But at the St Jude altar you are still here.

You embraced this church family,
Raised up our hearts,
As we raised our children
Whom you baptized at the font.
All your beloved children,
Proud to call you their Father.

Are you there?
Because you are no longer here.
But beside every one in every pew,
   In the nave, you are still here.

That you were called Home at long last
And yet sadly much too soon.
You weren't ready to go, still much to do.
Some things can find no reason,
Yet we struggle to say goodbye
To the legacy you were in this place.

Are you there?
Because you are no longer here.
But in every prayer, every Mass,
Always, you are still here.

12.10.14
©Kerri L. Stanley


                               

Sinning to the Loss

To break the oath of truth
You might think that it's okay
Sinning to gain what you seek
While still pushing someone else away.

You will covet something from the greed
And the gluttony and theft as well.
But in the end you can never win
As to answer at the gates of hell.

Even envy will leave you with nothing.
Resentment you'll trap in a jar.
And neither will gain you the points
Except rust that will tarnish your heart.

10.28.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Language Barriers

You think you have it figured out,
Holding your heart in your hands,
Tossing misinterpreted words about.

You hide behind your self imposed clout,
Choosing to deny where you will stand,
And remain anonymous amid the shouts

Of your passive aggressive doubt,
Among others who are in your camp,
Who know not what your real fight is about.

Your reasons you will to them not allow,
Because it is your weapon and only clamp
To be able to justify why and how

You can cut one down and cause a fallout,
Because they refuse to want to understand
Your manipulation of the truth then or now.

You think you have it figured out,
Ready to snap like a rubber band,
But thinking you've hidden your self doubt
Behind transparent words choking in your mouth

10.10.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Grief: The Cost of Commitment

I'm fighting to open that door
Because I don't know what I will find
It's the fear of all that is unknown
And everything that would be left behind

It's the numbness I feel from within
I can no longer deny the cold truth
There is nothing more left to deny
Of an emptiness that I cannot undo

I've been suffocating in this loneliness
My back up against that wall
Standing on the edge of a looming goodbye
In love with you again I can't fall

You see, I'm already alone
In isolation I live out each day
Push open the door to my heart
In my grief let me then walk away

5.31.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Oppressed

You can't see that I am oppressed
Starving for love and nurturing
That you cannot provide to me
I have become a broken vessel
Aimlessly wandering in and out
Of fragmented chapters of this
Sad and dark love story
In truth I have no help left in me
And I don't know how to fix it
Too weak to take hold of what we had
Built on the very fragile foundation
Where we promised for better and worse
My hope for us is not unshaken
Surely you are enduring the same suffering
You can't see that you too are oppressed

5.31.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Say Your Prayers, Honey

Say your prayers, honey
We need to communicate
And connect our inner thoughts
Before the love turns into hate

Say your prayers, honey
We need to unify our hearts
The vows we made to each other
Won't matter if we are apart

Say your prayers, honey
Ask Him to intercede
And save your soul and mine
Enough for true love to bleed

Say your prayers, honey
Thank Him for yesterday
Hold true to the loves in your life
All the time and every day

05.27.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

So I Can't Expect You to Know

So I can't expect you to know
That I am teetering on the tight rope
Searching for fragmented answers
To these questions I have in lost hope

Time has worn us both out
And our love discontinues to grow
You've forgotten I still have needs
So I can't expect you to know

I feel like I'm standing still
Letting this life pass me by
Missing what we once had
Sharing lows and not enough highs

So I can't expect you to know
And I'd never expect you to change
But I can no longer balance this way
Feeling trapped like I'm locked in a cage

I can't do this at all anymore
But I can't figure out how to go
Please let go of the rope, lest I fall
So I can't expect you to know

05.27.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Do Not Turn Around

Do not turn around for the bridge did burn
By the matches in your hand despite what you'll say
But for equality and fairness you cannot discern

Yet always regretted still wanting to yearn
Your actions well marked to words you will say
Do not turn around for the bridge did burn

Countless mistakes, still you won't ever learn
That forgiveness is yours at the end if the day
But for equality and fairness you cannot discern

In the darkness at night you will toss and turn
Unaware of how things even turned out this way
Do not turn around for the bridge did burn

Endearments lost to this way you will again return
No way to feel better even with a delay
But for equality and fairness you cannot discern

At the end if the day, you will go and adjourn
Words on your lips, to Him you would pray
Do not turn around for the bridge did burn
But for equality and fairness you cannot discern

05.25.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Pretending to Forgive

I wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt
Seeking forgiveness in my heart for
Trying to allow time to erase the foundation
Of the past and those harsh words I've heard you throw out

Truth is undeniable and we both know it was a lie
To pretend to be cordial and fake our forced smiles
In the name of common connections and the sport
Where goals and your hypocrisy you could never hide

So go ahead and lock the door and throw away the key
Having slammed the door in my face for selfish reasons
You've shown your truest colors in a fight that wasn't yours
Witnessing your childish behavior I won't hide for all to see

If you ever have the power not like the kind that breeds hatred
You might look in the mirror and someday see what I now see
The reasons for why you find yourself standing there alone
With a net that is your barrier away from which I've been led

I've brushed it off my shoulder, the dust that once was doubt
Something I know I should have done all those years ago
Still, not caring will take some time to come around again
I'll remember looking back to pretend not to care what it's about


05.05.14
©Kerri L. Stanley

Words of Flight

Isn't it funny how the truth comes to light

Through pent up anger that is put on paper

Words expressed to spark flames of a fight

You will pack so much emotion in one phrase to be right

Misdirected by your misguided anger

And wrong conclusions you keep in your sight

Every difference and contradiction that they might

Replace what is goodness and true and sincere

Hiding behind the curtain that has in turn shed new light

Refusing to believe that the words would take flight

Despite closing the door thinking it would be better

While the darkness still blinds you to see what is right

Still holding fast to the lies you grasp day and night

Crushing your spirit one more time and more vaster

But still standing tall on the ledge of your height

That paper, it's burning my heart not from fright

But of the sadness in you now and I hope not forever

That will keep you standing alone in your plight

Until it is thrown away like this friendship overnight

04.07.14
©Kerri L. Stanley