I'll Be Fine

I can't seem to find the words
That cloud my mind in the night
Stealing sweet dreams as they do
And leaving me lost in this plight
It's like trying to carry cold water
That slips through my hands with the time
That before me seems endless and vast
Too much, not enough, and sublime 

So I keep moving on
Put one foot in front of the other 
Knowing if only you'd let me go
That tomorrow I'd be just fine 

Funny how things seem okay
When you get what you want sometimes
We pretend this is how it's supposed to be
And keep walking that line that's so fine 
And I know we want different things
But you can't give me what I need 
What keeps you awake at night
Goes unspoken and dies in my heed 

So I keep moving on
Put one foot in front of the other 
Knowing if only you'd let me go
That tomorrow I'd be just fine 

So I keep moving on, moving on
And someday tomorrow I'll be just fine 

12.1.12

Forgiven

You haven't noticed how long it has been
Since we walked hand in hand through our lives
That you left me way back in the fork in the road
Resisting you and your sins and dreamless desires
Thinking mediocre is enough to sustain us
Nudging me along to keep pace with your step
Hoping my silence is my gratuitous consent
Not seeing that now there is really nothing left
Your weakness will blind you to the sad truth
But I continue to follow you down a treacherous slope
Because I know of no other means of survival
And my heavy heart has long since buried all hope
You can carry me every time I might stumble
I can hold onto you for wanting what you can't give
We will continue this journey because it's good enough for you
And because even a broken heart can still know how to forgive

11.25.12

Song, Interrupted

That the melody of the song
Should change halfway through
Like a memory that burns through time
Fading to colors of gray and blue
Heartbeat in rhythm to the drums
Aching from constant pain
A door left open to the cold
Crying eyes seeing only the rain
Did you know this is how it would end?
That your shadow would always be there
Now silent, you ended the song
That we still hear ever day, everywhere

11.25.12

Understood

I can't explain its presence
How it sneaks into my soul
Willing me to acknowledge its depth
For without it I am not whole
Its transparency well hidden from most
Who will bury it with false pretense
But my eyes see more than is there
The pain that was felt for when
It is thought nobody else will know
Or understand the worth of this pain
For the tears hidden with the secret
Are like mine and unfalling rain
You don't know I know who you are
And I won't reveal that I know your song
But I'll think of you during those times
And with the feeling I'll carry on
As you do through your life
Thinking nobody else can see
The fragility of your heart
That makes you just like me

02.15.12

Tears

It occurred to me the other night
Lying in bed unable to sleep
That the time we lost had
Elapsed to endless days
And the tears I couldn't keep
From falling yet again
Kept the thoughts in flight
There seemed to be a tear for
Every memory, every smile,
Every moment
Now whispers, shadows, and
Angel touches
Fill up the empty space of time
That will repeat again tomorrow
For a hurt that does not heal
And a love that still endures
Where dreams are dreamed in
Due time
And dawn brings forth another day
No more tears, new memories,
New smiles, new moments
Without you to dry my tears

08.04.11

Pretentious

This presence you choose to display
Only hardens our loyalty instead
Hurt by the words left unsaid
As if the past was all just a mistake
No matter how the game did play
Your actions are not misread
The tears that surely are shed
Because you simply will walk away
If the meaning of success for your team
Discounts the players you left behind
Where sportsmanship has lost its value
For raising yourself does deem
A coward who is simply so blind
To what you are and what you should do

07.24.11

Missing You

Since we said goodbye to you
The days just aren't the same
And holding onto blame
Doesn't ease the sorrow through
Half fulfilled in what we do
Endless days that only remain
Comfortable in these locks and chains
Wanting back what we once knew
It's an emptiness we want to hold
An ache that leaves us bereft
Needing you near to our souls
While yours is all that is left
Sometimes the sting of the cold
Sustains today just like the rest

07.24.11