Old Flames

It's been a couple of years now,
The fire's heat we can no longer feel.
I thought we could see past the smoke,
And walk away with just burns that would heal

I see you around from time to time,
Even ask others about how you've been.
Forgiveness found its way to my heart,
And I thought maybe we'd be friends again.

But I made the grave mistake
Of revisiting that old place from the past.
And I found you have been there too
And it's clear that it won't be your last.

There is leftover bitterness in your soul,
Clinging to your bones like smoke does to wood.
You've fanned the flames to rekindle the fire
Knowing I'd burn in the place where I stood.

If time erases the pain and the hurt,
It sure missed its mark with you.
Keep playing with fire and you'll burn again,
Until you grow tired of what the scars will do.

One day you'll look at yourself in the mirror,
And won't recognize the person you'll see.
But it won't be too late to let it all go,
I'll forgive you still and beside you I'll be.

03.14.16
©Kerri L. Stanley

Whatever You Say

The hands of time keep pushing us forward
But in reality I'm stuck in the past.
You will tell me my vision is blurring the truth
Your undying love you'll hold fast.

What you say can never be what you really mean;
The color of love is not green.
So I stand here before you weak at the knees
And I tell you what it is you can't see.

REFRAIN
Dreams that will never become memories,
Or things that stay broken too long.
Hypocrisy bulging from your back pocket,
All the rights that keep staying as wrongs.

Below average should be good enough,
All that you want you think I do, too.
What I don't have I can't use for leverage,
And I crumble, feeling just like a fool.

The clock still passes our time.
Day in and day out, we survive.
Soon another season will come to an end,
And we will step into another, again with no end.

What I say can never be what you want it to mean;
The color blue is easy to see.
You'll stand here before me while I'm down on my knees
And you'll tell me how you think it should be.

REFRAIN
Dreams that will never become memories,
Or things that stay broken too long.
Hypocrisy bulging from your back pocket,
All the rights that keep staying as wrongs.

Below average should be good enough,
All that you want you think I do, too.
What I don't have I can't use for leverage,
And I crumble, feeling just like a fool.

It will always be your vision, your words, your way.
Like a fool, I'll let time keep pushing us forward,
Into another this is a good enough day.

03.06.16
©Kerri L. Stanley

Blue

If I let myself think back on that day
The blue of the sky,
The skip of my heart,
Everything I wasn't able to say,
Sadness envelopes me
My eyes fill with tears,
I choke on yesterday's words
And again, you are unable to see
How such a loss holds its pain anew
Like it had occurred all over again
No matter how many blue sky days have passed
Reliving it is what I'll always need to do

12.28.15
©Kerri L. Stanley

Breach of The Tenth Commandment

You think nobody will see,
You think nobody will know.
The evidence isn't your presence,
It's the ghost of you not at home.

Chasing what isn't yours to have,
Chasing daylight into the night.
Penance you'll make in due time,
Transgressions you'll dismiss as your right.

You think you don't need the vows,
You think you can claim him as yours.
Just because He's holding his hand,
You'll hide behind locked doors.

Wanting nobody to see,
Wanting nobody to know.
Displaying a broken key,
Coveting what you cannot ever show.

But your ghosts we all can see,
The truth is there in your eyes.
This charade is growing quite old,
We see and know of your lies.

11.28.15
©Kerri L. Stanley

Game Over

This strategy you have mastered,
It suits you well.
But at the end of the day
What do you see when you close your eyes?
And does genuine pride fill your heart?
Can you have an end to something that had no real beginning,
Something that was conceived and nourished as a lie?
You are no better than a thief
Who takes what isn't yours,
Violating the trust you demand of them,
These golden boys you treat like puppets
Until they figure it out and play you at your own game.
But by then, it's too late,
Their questions will keep, as the truth fades with yesterday.
They are the real winners, and they will hold themselves up
Standing together alone and with private pride
And the memories they will save will be the heritage they
Mapped with honor and humility you never taught them
For being blind to your false ego, cold heart, and own deceit.
It suits you well,
This strategy you have mastered.
Game over.

11.11.15
©Kerri L. Stanley

Too Far Away

I can't explain it to you, or even write it down,
As my cold temper wraps itself all around us
And coveted words collect on the shelf like dust.
Hard to believe that the good will prevail all around.

Like a thief in the night I'll still tiptoe around
This mediocrity and love that hurts so much,
Trying to find the reasons to want to clutch
What is only leaving scars and tears and frowns.

There aren't words for yet things we need to say.
Instead silence catches these dark corners of my heart,
And the words pile up and harden like clay.

We continue like this tomorrow, today;
The abyss divides us even farther apart.
You can't hear me now; I'm too far away. I'm too far away.

08.22.15
©Kerri L. Stanley

Cheating Kindness

First you will realize the meaning,
When you mistake its implication
To be kindness wrapped up in a bow.

Suddenly you know what you're seeing,
Their lies underneath all the fabrication,
Where cheating is all they will know.

You're outside the circle that's breeding
The stereotypes they express not in desperation,
To be kindness wrapped up in a bow.

You'll yearn to step into the circle in needing
To be accepted despite valid hesitation,
Where cheating is all they will know.

Still that door will stay closed to your silent hurting,
And you'll rise above their narrow rejection,
To be kindness wrapped up in a bow.

Turning away, you will find inner healing,
Leaving it in the past of yesterday,
To be kindness wrapped up in a bow,
Where cheating is all they will know.

02.23.15
©Kerri L. Stanley