Echos

Tears

2011-08-05T08:36:00.002-04:00

It occurred to me the other night
Lying in bed unable to sleep
That the time we lost had
Elapsed to endless days
And the tears I couldn't keep
From falling yet again
Kept the thoughts in flight
There seemed to be a tear for
Every memory, every smile,
Every moment
Now whispers, shadows, and
Angel touches
Fill up the empty space of time
That will repeat again tomorrow
For a hurt that does not heal
And a love that still endures
Where dreams are dreamed in
Due time
And dawn brings forth another day
No more tears, new memories,
New smiles, new moments
Without you to dry my tears

08.04.11

Pretentious

2011-07-24T15:46:00.003-04:00

This presence you choose to display
Only hardens our loyalty instead
Hurt by the words left unsaid
As if the past was all just a mistake
No matter how the game did play
Your actions are not misread
The tears that surely are shed
Because you simply will walk away
If the meaning of success for your team
Discounts the players you left behind
Where sportsmanship has lost its value
For raising yourself does deem
A coward who is simply so blind
To what you are and what you should do

07.24.11

Missing You

2011-07-24T15:44:00.002-04:00

Since we said goodbye to you
The days just aren't the same
And holding onto blame
Doesn't ease the sorrow through
Half fulfilled in what we do
Endless days that only remain
Comfortable in these locks and chains
Wanting back what we once knew
It's an emptiness we want to hold
An ache that leaves us bereft
Needing you near to our souls
While yours is all that is left
Sometimes the sting of the cold
Sustains today just like the rest

07.24.11

Rain and Tears

2011-05-16T22:33:00.003-04:00

It's the rainy days like these
When you cloud my memory
And heartache will not cease

It's a reminder of the tears
Cried for your sudden loss
and not enough life in years

So if you had a second chance
To get your point across
And not from happenstance

What would a rainy day
Mean to me instead
That is unrelated to what you'd say

But I'd take a lifetime
Of rainy days
Just to see you shine

Because I miss you so much
And time doesn't help
It's just raining tears and such
But to your memory I still clutch

05.16.11

Before

2010-12-05T10:41:00.001-05:00

But that was before
I paid attention to the days
But that was before
It meant anything, number four
Date, team number, a reminder
Life is a little less kinder
But that was before

12.05.10

Doubt

2010-10-14T08:40:00.002-04:00

The doubt that you carry
Found not near me
Has only created fragments
Of who we are to be
You will question my actions
In the midst of a great loss
So I question your insecurity
Even though I see its cause
You let your heart bleed
Keep putting Band-Aids on your soul
Thinking when I stand beside you
Is when you can be whole
Fragments that weigh heavy
Taking space reserved for love
Scattered all around us
As they fall from up above
This doubt is everywhere
Now permeating you and me
The box of Band-Aids is empty
And together we are not free

10.13.10

I Can

2010-09-04T20:50:00.005-04:00

I can go to the ocean
And watch the waves crash on the shore
But I'll never understand
Why you're not here anymore
I can see the clouds gather
Before a gentle rain
But my heart will always ache
Not having known your pain
I can listen to pretty songs
And find meaning in their words
But I'll wonder about that day
And if you wanted to be heard
I can give thanks for what I have
And watch day turn into night
But still feel sorry that you couldn't
Find your way towards the light
I can cry myself to sleep
While I miss you more each day
But I'll keep you in my heart
And it is there you'll always stay

09.04.10

Lauren Rae

2010-08-07T22:18:00.002-04:00

Our love for you is too great
To be able to say goodbye
Wishing you were still here
Laughing by our side
The pain you felt so deeply
We now carry in our hearts
As real as the memories we shared
That unravel and come undone
For all of us near and far
No second chances to take
You in our arms
To tell you that's okay
And help you find some peace
And show you it's not far away
As you are now from us
Surrounded by His love
Gone too soon from this life
Saddened we lost tomorrows
Without you here with us
Endearments left to hold
Through all our love and sorrow
We don't know which way to fall

08.06.10

We Can

2010-07-05T16:36:00.000-04:00

We can still recall those final days
Filling our days with things to do
Running away from what we should face

We can wish for what we had before
Make believe the pain isn’t real
Until we can’t feel anything at all anymore

We can walk this road together
Perhaps separate at the fork
And think this will be forever

We can believe in only ourselves
And think it will make us feel better
To stack yesterday upon dusty shelves

We can attempt to do inconsiderate things
And think it won’t bother the other
Or, that hurtful words won’t sting

We can choose to carry or toss
What matters in this life
We can lift up and carry our cross
We can stop living to fight this loss

07.05.10

Unwritten Rules

2010-07-04T19:38:00.002-04:00

It’s something you sacrifice for them
What you’d do to help them along
Or do to teach them life’s lessons

It’s a game in between the games
When you decide to play along
Or decide to break the rules

It’s a fact no one will state
Where you pretend to like each other
Or pretend to even care

It’s a time they will remember
Why they arrived here even at all
Or arrived here to want to leave

It’s something you’ll keep inside
How knowing it’s better to keep quiet
Or knowing you’d lose the game

07.04.10

Crossing the Bridge

2010-07-04T19:11:00.000-04:00

Don’t tell me how I should feel
or make me do things your own way
You’ll keep me from crossing the bridge
Refusing to listen to what I have to say

Your nights could be my days
And your days could be my nights
How you or I perceive it will depend
On the brightness of the light

Life is full of choices
And events we can’t control
So close your eyes to what you
Don’t want to see
And to the memories continue to hold

For beating me down when I’m already
On my knees
Gives you no more power to bestow
It will only break the bridge on which we stand
And we’ll both crash to the water below

6.30.10

Letting Go

2010-06-24T23:57:00.003-04:00

The sunlight on your face
Can't brighten our
Breaking hearts
And the clouds rolling in
Bring a storm
That can't compare
To the one you have fought
Let the rain fall down
And wash away our tears
That we must say goodbye
And let Him take you Home
Where you will shine
With the sun
And brighten our homes
With your eternal presence

06.24.10

Insignificance

2010-06-24T11:14:00.003-04:00

We awaken on this day
Blessed to see daylight
No matter what the weather
Dare you act with it in sight
You embrace the memory
Of today's anniversary
Wishing the clock stalled time
Keeping thoughts that you will carry
At the end of the last hour
Long shadows cast in the night
Swallowing the day's intentions
Diminished that they might
Mean less to the one you love
Transforming today's intent
To one you'd rather forget
With yesterday it is buried and sent
With your tears that fall silently
Harboring another lost day
Holding your fragile heart
And keeping from running away

06.23.10

Pieces of Love

2010-02-13T18:34:00.003-05:00

Innocence under the covers
Preparing to rest his little body
Welcoming slumber slowly
Will he let me kiss him goodnight?

I wrap my warms around him
And leave him with a kiss
Hopeful my love will carry
Through a peaceful night of sleep

He tosses it on the floor
Before I can leave the room
"Take that kiss back!" he says
And it shatters at my feet

I pick up the pieces
Scattered beside his bed
While he answers with laughter
When I ask what I will do

He refuses to take the pieces
I must take them out of the room
I'm thankful he can't toss the love
Too big for him to break

03.09

Misery's Company

2010-01-18T14:36:00.002-05:00

Your self-imposed silence will cry
Imprisonment in itself
Breaking the barriers of this lie

More lows today than one sought after high
Outweigh the bank’s wealth
And we don’t share the pie

Nobody will ask us why
You’ll continue in your stealth
To not let this moment die

But look into my eyes
I can’t fake good health
Yet another day will pass us by

Where I won’t know for my
Freedom trapped upon your shelf
Further inhibiting you and I

The limit is not the sky
Only that which you give yourself
Thinking us you can want to buy
Will clip my wings so I can’t fly

01.18.10

Weakened Knots

2009-12-16T19:38:00.001-05:00

It is delicate and thin
Frayed at the edges
Knots tied together
From the repeated pledges

They are feet that are weary
From pacing the floor
Traversing only old places
To remember vows from before

It is bruised and often heavy
Too close to breaking
Tho strong for tomorrow
And reasons it is taking

They are lost in their ignorance
Unwilling to learn
That He offers His hand
At each and every turn

It is removed from its place
Every evening for use
To hold not just the wine
But also the excuse

To tie yet another knot
Not to take the same path
To show them that love
Can be toasted from the glass

That offers a new start
Letting go of the past
With broken wings they’ll fly
Finding a new path to explore at last

12.16.09

Truth That Lies

2009-11-14T11:52:00.000-05:00

The water underneath the creaking bridge
Through sunny day storms will recede and rise
Testing the strengths of the brave ones
Dividing them between the truth that lies
Visible beyond but way out of reach
Except for the ones who will together hold hands
Knowing strength in numbers will keep them alive
Despite breeching morals that dissolve like sand
They will toss out a rope to save their own
And turn a blind eye to the dog paddlers
Who will eventually make way to solid ground
Still not losing sight of what really matters
They’ll shake off the remnants of dirt
And with the others on that bridge will stand
While their own might be lost to keep it from breaking
Knowing it’s needed to connect the two lands
They will accept in silence their continued defeat
And some may choose not to always follow
The ones who pretend to be who they are not
Because popularity is their only shadow
Thinking they are safer in greater numbers
Losing sight of who they really are
The underdogs see especially on sunny days
Because the colors of shadows are always dark

11.14.08

Tempered Glass

2009-10-14T20:00:00.003-04:00

Every time you scream
You risk shattering the glass
That divides us as we are
Holding on while running fast
To save our scrambling feet
From being cut by the sharp edges
We foresee quickly falling down
In your angry frightening message
And once the glass is broken
It cannot be repaired
The cracks won't hold us here
Because we no longer will have cared
To attempt to block the blows
That are your words of misuse
Untouchable we'll be to you
And the glass will be bullet-proof

10.14.09

Sideline View

2009-10-04T22:53:00.001-04:00

What only can be sought
Or released in his exertion
You capture in his mistakes
And toss back trying to hurt him

To withstand your raw reprimanding
And suspending the actions around
Hit harder than you might have expected
To reveal this that has been found

Twenty lashings would have hurt less
And he might have moved yet forward
But kicking him while he was down
Only reflected what could have been avoided

It was a poor example of your claim
That you will strive to make him better
It is clear now that there had to be
Many hidden storms he has had to weather

So justify your words with his faults
And pretend that it doesn’t matter
While you never saw him at his worst
You should know we strive to capture

What can only be achieved
Or gained in his true person
He finds in his own worth
Where you only more will worsen

Anger from the storms we’ve endured
And the example you choose to lead
But you have forced him to further shut down
Because you have already planted the seed

It is rivalry at its best
And one that we will never overcome
To say we tried but can try no more
Is the only way this game can be won

10.04.09

Angela

2009-06-15T09:07:00.003-04:00

A lazy summer day meets its end
Nightfall will shadow the moon
Giving dreams their chance to take flight
Else they would die in the darkness too soon
Like the quiet place deep in your soul
As you let them keep and carry you whole

06.14.09

Coloring My World Bright

2009-05-07T12:25:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wonder
Where I'd be
If I didn't have the
Friendship of thee
For seeing me through
My darkest days
And showing such kindness
In so many ways
For holding my hand
And keeping me strong
For making me believe
I could do no wrong
When I found I
Couldn't help myself
You alone were
All my help
For being there
You made me see
Just how important
You are to me
And with gratitude
I want you to know
How you've colored my life
With your brilliant rainbow

02.07.89

A Silence Too Quiet

2009-05-07T12:18:00.002-04:00

It was as quiet as I
Allowed the day to be
I was free to do what I wanted
But the silence of the telephone
And having no one to talk to
Changed the peaceful quiet
To lonely solitude
It was as lonely as I
Hoped the day wouldn't be

02.05.89

My Colors, Your Colors

2009-05-07T12:14:00.001-04:00

You can play upon my emotions
And touch me with your words
You know you say the sweetest things
That I've ever heard
And even in our silence
Of me you can have a hold
Because the colors shining from you
Illuminate my soul

11.05.88

Until Then

2009-05-07T12:13:00.003-04:00

Today I felt unhappy
Until I saw a child
Laughing
Then I laughed too

Today I felt like crying
Until I saw an old mean
Smiling
Then I smiled too

Today I felt lonely
Until I saw two friends
Hug
Then I thought of you

11.03.88

Charade

2009-05-07T12:12:00.002-04:00

I saw it in her eyes -
The emptiness
I had felt as less,
Unable to ruse
To the expectation
I needed for me,
For tomorrow to be
A stranger's revelation.

11.02.88

The Pain In My Heart

2009-05-07T12:09:00.002-04:00

It's just little me again
Thinking about you to pass the time
It has never been easy for me
To get you off of my mind

So I've finally come to realize
And just wanted you to know
There will always be a part of me
That will never let you go

That part of me will hurt
Each day and this is because
I miss you with all my heart
And it's a pain of absent love

08.23.88

Realizing Our Fate

2009-05-07T12:01:00.002-04:00

When fate brought you to me
I was lost and so alone
I didn't think anyone could
Take my heart
Without me wanting it back
For myself
But I'm realizing each time
You're with me
That I want to share it
With you

I don't want to disappoint you
With false expectations
But my hopes parallel yours
And although my heart has
Been bruised
Loving you seems to be the
Best remedy

Still I sometimes stumble
Into darkness
And find myself not making
Sense
I cry for no apparent reason
Even when I'm holding you close
In my arms

Please don't displace my moments
Of apathy
With inner guilt or even fault
For it's only my way of learning
To keep myself content
While I want to make you
Happy
As you have done
When fate brought you to me

05.07.89

Broken Commandments

2009-04-20T19:40:00.001-04:00

While there are two to a marriage
There should always be three
Without Him beside us
We are blind not to see
Anger us divides
And we say unkind things
Unable to save each other
And enjoy what life brings
To seek rest and prayer
Even one day a week
For cleansing our souls
Is not just for the meek
Where respect has been weakened
Amongst even descendents
Who lack what we can’t give them
With modified commandments
Although no one has died
At the hands of a crime
What becomes of the spirit
Whose hands that can bind
Though they won’t hold another
While the vows have been sworn
Imagination can run deep
In a life yet to be born
A heart you can hold
But not claim to be yours
If another one will steal it
Without any remorse
If your life is their business
And they’ve burdened the worst
They might think they are justified
To share in what hurts
It’s a wound that won’t heal
And no pride can replace
For no angels can watch over
What you continue to erase
So within your walls you might stay
And continue to hide
But there is room for you with Him
Should you walk by his side

04.20.09

Staying and Going

2009-04-12T20:59:00.001-04:00

I’m here where I belong
And I’m not there where I should be
Tethered to this book we write
Whose pages are torn and incomplete
Like a diary that nobody should see
Whose meaning you will make your own
Erasing what really matters
While casting too many stones
Heavy as my heart has become
Weakened to toss them away
So they pile up along the boundaries
Of our life from which we can’t stray
I’m still here where I belong
And from there I still stay gone

04.12.09

Gratitude

2009-02-25T14:43:00.003-05:00

I’d give my life for them
And I’d run away from them
For a moment of silence
Deaf to my ears
For a moment in the sun
Blanketing my soul
For a moment to remember
How much I miss them
And I’d run to them
Because they are my life

02.25.09

I See Right Through You

2009-02-25T14:24:00.002-05:00

It’s like saying it’s yellow
When it’s really gold
Or pretending to change
And conform to a mold
Where you can’t quite fit
To the stories you’ve told
And warmth is still absent
Even away from the cold
Your eyes will betray you
In your imagination so bold
You think you’re so clever
With your cards that you hold
Refusing to back down
And admit you should fold
Keep lying to yourself
But I won’t ever be undersold

02.25.09

Rape of Innocence

2009-02-18T16:16:00.004-05:00

He opened the door
Without knowing
That fire spreads more quickly
And we all breathe the same
Oxygen
Too late to shut out the images
That should never have been seen
Now burned and charred along
With their innocence
That can’t be reclaimed once
You’ve been raped
Bless the child who lit the match
That started the fire
Where oceans of water can’t
Drown the flames
Or wash away his parents’ sins
That smolder in the aftermath
So knock down the debris and rebuild
Or renovate and repair the damage
With the likelihood that every damp day
Thereafter
Will permeate that memory you are trying
So hard to erase
And the soil under which the door had stood
Will never know drought
Yet no matter how hard you try to plant
The seeds to bloom flowers
Only ugly weeds will emerge
Offering polluted oxygen you don't want to
Breathe

02.18.09

Self-doubt

2009-02-03T11:53:00.002-05:00

He stands outside the circle
Unwilling to step over the line
Looking at the broken pieces
Of what he must leave behind
Turning his back to that life
And slowly making his way
From the pieces he couldn't fix
Since he threw them all away
Soon coming upon a door
Open and welcoming
But he passes it by moving on
Certain he will never fit in
One meant to live alone
Having broken so long ago
Unable to step over the line
And becoming his only foe

Fall '08

Dead Words

2009-02-03T11:39:00.005-05:00

Sometimes you toss
Your words around
Like the wind tosses
Dead leaves
And when I refuse to
Catch them
They will fall dormant
At my feet
You can gather them
In a pile
And again toss them
In the air
But they will fall to the
Ground again
And again onto deaf ears
Harsh winds, I will steal
Myself against
And block them out with
A stockade fence

02.03.09

Chipped Paint

2009-01-23T20:45:00.003-05:00

It is still there
That first layer of paint
Buried under several coats
A hidden but permanent stain
No matter its color
That will remind you of time
You thought you buried forever
In the past you left behind
Time moves forward
As we all tend to do
But it still catches up
And will always chase you
So knock the wall down
Or just move away
But you’ll always find that color
To remind you of yesterday
What was the first layer then
You’ll use to hide once again

01.23.09

Truth

2009-01-18T18:15:00.004-05:00

They are among the non-believers
Who think it’s all a ruse
As if it’s possible to even see
through the fabrics of the wool
That was never theirs to claim
As an excuse for accusation
That she’d reveal her clusterfook
As the means of affirmation
That the tale is as real today
With the promise for tomorrow
They will likely take for granted
While they mistake all of our sorrow
Casting stones as hard as their hearts
they could not possibly understand
She couldn’t fabricate what she has endured
When it was always in his His hands

01.18.09

Thelma & Louise

2009-01-04T17:16:00.003-05:00

You want me to hold the line
And risk all that I have
Thinking with you I’ll find
How good it feels to be bad
The vows I made would be breeched
Though forgiven at a confession
A cross road you have reached
Has taught me an invaluable lesson
I ask Him, “Can I help her?”
I hear, “Regard all that she sees.
An accomplice to her being Thelma
You don’t have to be her Louise.”
Go on and have your affair
It’s a risk I’m not willing to dare

01.04.09

Let Them Be Children

2008-12-01T19:54:00.003-05:00

Can't you remember
How you loved it when
In the middle of the night
Laws and rules were bent
Daring with your friends
Risking getting caught
Endless hopes and dreams
Never believing you'd ever stop

Seeing what no one else could
Holding firm to who you were
Only letting go sometimes
Understanding never for sure
Listening to that inner child
Demanding to be seen

Baring him only occasionally
Else he hides in between

Hours of imaginary play
Even letting him make mistakes
As you entered into adulthood
Resting the wild child in your wake
Don't rob that of your own today

12.01.08

Light Reading

2008-11-19T18:14:00.004-05:00

They’re just words on paper
That I cannot even read
If the book sits on its shelf
Because you want me here
It’s a fictional world
I can escape to for a while
When my own is as it is
I’m only going a few short miles
But you express your displeasure
That sets the mood for tonight
I can only guess you want me here
So you can start another fight
Rather than let me go
And borrow someone else’s life
If only through a novel
But you hold me in your vice
So rather than read I will write
And share tonight for all to see
This life that no one would want
Unless they would prefer to not be free

11.19.08

If

2008-11-18T08:18:00.003-05:00

If time was always enough
We wouldn't miss our time apart
If more miles of road were between us
You would still hold a place in our hearts

If we could change a day in the past
We'd collide together with you
For wanting you all to ourself
To share what we want to do

If tomorrow was not on our side
And we had nowhere to go
We'd still have our memories to keep
Safe in yesterdays of long ago

If words could be put to a song
That celebrates who you are
You'd see why we feel so blessed
In our lives you shine like a star

11.17.08 ~ for Joanne

If The Shoe Fits

2008-11-11T20:58:00.003-05:00

Can you see what I see
Only if you wear my shoes
Can you understand my reason
For not letting you refuse
To set the right example
And hold each other up
While you bruise your hearts together
And share a tainted cup

If my actions cause an outcome
That backlashes to old shoes
Whose laces can't be tied
Due to breakage and wrong clues
Then the lesson won't be learned
And you'll lose your ability
To buy your own new shoes
And not see yourself in me

11.11.08

Tomorrow's Hope

2008-11-10T15:37:00.003-05:00

It's the difference between seasons
Or the lines you cannot cross
The goodbye that went unsaid
The cliff you want to jump off

It's the belief in all your reasons
And the circle of inner hope
The prayer that you'll repeat
Before it's tossed to you, the woven rope

It's the truth behind the meaning
Or the points you need to make
In the letter you are writing
To show exactly what's at stake

It's the same what we are feeling
Like bullets that pierce our hearts
In the tribute we give a loved one
After death tears us apart

It's the lies we cannot swallow
Caught as whispers in the wind
And memories that will sustain us
When we start all over again

It's the truth you'll tell tomorrow
With tears that fall like rain
Release and be surrendered
From your inner hurt and pain

11.10.08

Your Side of The Fence

2008-11-04T13:14:00.005-05:00

I woke up this morning
To the sound of falling rain
And you weren't there beside me
To take away this hurt and pain

Oh I can't piece together
The events of yesterday
You walked away from us
And said you couldn't stay

You said it's all too much
The kids, your job, our life
You stood there on our doorstep
Said you didn't want me to be your wife

But I heard everything you didn't say
In every other sentence
The tears you didn't cry can't free you
From our past along your way
You think it won't ever rain there
The place you claim you need to go
You're gonna hear those words over and over
Standing on your side of the fence

Remember how hot the sun can burn
When you stay out way too long
And you might regret where you wind up
Because home is where you always belonged

Now I must wake the children
Prepare us for this day
How to answer all their questions
Of why you went away

But the only thing you've forgotten
That stands the test of time
You won't last very long
Without everything you've left behind

And I heard everything you didn't say
In every other sentence
The tears you didn't cry can't free you
From our past along your way
You think it won't ever rain there
The place you claim you need to go
You're gonna hear those words over and over
Standing on your side of the fence

11.04.08

Corn Maze

2008-10-20T18:25:00.002-04:00

Acres of darkness
Casting shadows in the night
Sharp turns and dead ends
We traverse left and right
Lost and separated in this maze
Looking for any way out
An infraction of this moment
That only leaves more doubt

10.20.08

Seeking What Matters

2008-10-15T16:01:00.000-04:00

It’s a matter of discipline
Weakened over time
We have been beaten down
You continue to cross the line
Seeking not justice
But instead more self doubt
The mirror is warped
Hiding who it’s about
It’s a matter of identity
Lost to the past
You have become him anyway
Hidden beneath your grim mask
Seeking forgiveness
You know you can’t teach
He knows who you are
And will stay out of reach
It’s a matter of survival
And too many open wounds
Seeking lost comfort
Abandoned all too soon

10.15.08

Ripple Effects

2008-10-13T20:16:00.001-04:00

The water will ripple
With the toss of the stone
Yet imbalance is caused
Even before it is thrown
How long it can skip
Will depend on the strength
Not just at release
Where you measure the length
Gravity will hold it
Somewhere down below
Claiming a new surface
Where nobody will know
In this spot it will stay
Until its exposure through droubt
To be picked up again
And tossed farther out
Ensuring this time its depth
Will not behold its existence
For here it will lie
And seek further resistance
To grow or be moved
Beyond this drowning location
Stilling the water
In its limited salvation

10.13.08

First Embrace

2008-10-12T20:26:00.004-04:00

His eyes were kind and warm
His spirit as gentle as his hands
A promise made the day he was born
To do all that his job would demand
Keeping him well as he should
Watching him grow year to year
Entrusting his life as he would
And offering his brothers to bear
Filling their charts with his notes
That told of their health and growth
But hidden from all that he wrote
Was the seed he had long since sowed
Hearing their tiny hearts as they beat
Breaking their mother’s so that she would weep
Not counting on his sudden departure
That took him away all too soon
It is not the time for us to see this juncture
What of the visits that will not take place in those rooms
And the one where they have grown to be teens
Where he would remember them once so small
The memories will be there in between
Ever since they ran noisily up and down the halls
Though the pain of his loss will diminish over time
I will always be proud that my sons’ pediatrican, he was mine

10.12.08

Blessings

2008-10-06T19:45:00.002-04:00

It was a long ago dream
I still envision today
That nagging self-doubt
That just won't go away
What ifs and whys
Torment me each day
Since the past stole my future
In this bed I must lay
Regrets, there are many
So silently I pray
To appreciate the blessings
That have all come my way

10.06.08

Yet Again

2008-10-06T19:36:00.004-04:00

You think we don't notice
How the sky turns to night
When you walk in the door
We must prepare for a fight
Something is missing
Or something is wrong
Another thing broken
And it's the same old song
We put up with your bitterness
Nowhere to hide
Love edged with resentment
That can't be defied
Hasten the hours
To end this bad day
But the light of the morrow
Won't lead us away
Hope for our future
Dies in our hearts
You won't set us free
So we live together, apart

10.06.08

Broken Glass

2008-09-27T16:59:00.003-04:00

I reach out to catch you
- Too late
Your reflection is cut into
Pieces
Glass still trapped in its frame
Lies shattered on the floor
Not unlike your very spirit,
Or my hope
Slipping away from us
While we try to hold on
To the broken fragments
Cutting through our hands
As we fight not to lose our grip
Before it's too late

09.27.08

Two Years Ago

2008-09-17T21:10:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we laughed
And yesterday we cried
Today we remember you
But still can't understand why
It must have been what was needed
More laughter and joy above
You were chosen for your smile
And of course, your warmth and love
Tomorrow won't be the same
Your absence we still know and feel
But even with all of the pain
Slowly we continue to heal

~In memory of Brian

09.17.08

Tough Love

2008-09-16T20:38:00.001-04:00

Storms will come and go
Yet you thrive on the risk of their danger
You will reap whatever you sow
And can’t run away from your anger
Slicing my heart with coarse words
Mocking me and letting me bleed
Even if you don’t mean what I’ve heard
It’s too late – you’ve planted the seed
Choices too difficult to make
Leaves my heart feeling like a stone
I’ll consider for us safety’s sake
Which means you will have to leave home
For the family, I must take a stand
But I will never let go of your hand

09.16.08

Sudden Death

2008-09-16T20:04:00.002-04:00

Turn back the clock
This was not supposed to happen
Turn back the clock
I cannot bear this painful loss
Let me do it over again
I'll hold you to what should have been
Turn back the clock

09.16.08

Undreamt

2008-08-06T16:23:00.002-04:00

Silence trapped in every corner
It is worse than a rainy day Monday
Idling at the edge of the border
I can still hear everything you don’t say
Your dreams are way out of reach
As dormant as the darkness is black
A trust that too many times has been breeched
Too stubborn to try to turn back
Forward together we must go
To the fork ahead at the bend
Debts to each other we still owe
Will go unpaid even to the end
The cost for these dreams is too great
For they cannot be found hand in hand
They will never be worth the wait
When you can’t move your feet in quicksand

08.06.08

Back to School

2008-08-01T21:23:00.003-04:00

Yesterday couldn't stay
And summertime will take a bow
We return from being away
And longer days slowly fade
Knowing that this is how
We must conform to newer ways
Holding fast to the memories we made
As school bells we hear ring out
No more summer days
Now hearing the teachers say
We are together here and now
An education is ours to claim
Wanting to learn is more than okay
Taking it for granted we shouldn't allow
We can't shine hiding in the shade
So welcome back to the classroom today
Where did our summer go? Wow!
Time for school and don't be late
And tomorrow, come what may

08.01.08

Summer Sun

2008-07-19T20:22:00.001-04:00

As invisible as it is free
Reaching the depth of my soul
I let it completely surround me
Filling, surrounding and taking hold
Fire that whispers against my skin
Competing with a single breeze
It grows and spreads from deep within
To be lost one day to a freeze
Clinging to the moment I lose myself
To captivity of its strength
Wishing I could store it on a shelf
To remember long after the season is spent
I worship it as long as I can
Tranquility I grasp in the palm of my hand

07.19.08

Kerri & Gregory 6.22.96

2008-06-22T10:13:00.003-04:00

Gregory,

On this day as we are
United in marriage
You might offer me a penny
For my thoughts
And this
I would say to you...

You once wondered
If you were strong enough
Yet you have shared your strength
With me
Throughout our journey together
Even when our steps were distanced
Apart
And I skinned my knees, ripped my jeans
On the many paved, cobblestone,
Crushed stone and dirt roads
We have traversed
You were always there to
Pick me up
We have traveled far
We have traveled long
Happiest when we strode beside
So we held on
Walked on
Held and kissed and bear hugged
You are my friend, companion
I am happy to share with you
Dreams, love, life
As we embark
Into our future
And this joyous ride
That will not break our ties
Of the past
But instead strengthen them
With the bond of love we share
For each other
And I love you
Always
In my heart, my soul, my mind
If you wonder...
Penny for...

06.96

Memories To Keep

2008-06-19T10:42:00.007-04:00

They are memories to keep
But with you forever
They are memories to keep
Even now as you weep
And you’ll always remember
Your yesterdays together
They are memories to keep

~For Anthony's Dad

06.19.08

A Gifted Teacher

2008-06-16T18:40:00.003-04:00

06.16.08

Breaking

2008-06-01T20:36:00.002-04:00

Glass
Clear, unshattered
Stone is thrown
It cracks and breaks
Glass

Feelings
Lost, unhealed
Words are thrown
They crack and break
Feelings

06.01.08

Soaky

2008-06-01T20:19:00.004-04:00

Little boy in bath
Washing away the dirt
From his day outside
Reminds me of innocence
When he says, "I'm so soaky."

06.01.08

Self Abuse

2008-05-07T21:35:00.001-04:00

Walking a fine line
Tiptoeing around edges
Of your dark being
Unable to offer peace
Or repair what is broken

Throwing a lifeline
That you refuse to accept
Trapped in the darkness
Where our love is forbidden
But where you know you’ll still hurt

Your soul burns with fire
Angry and burning of deceipt
Distorting the truths
You can see from your corner
Which you let drop at your feet

Running to nothing
Except all that still haunts you
Stubborn pride traps you
The mirror reflects mistakes
Surrounding you like poison

You think we can’t see
Your visible bleeding wounds
Hidden behind eyes
That can’t sleep a peaceful dream
While crying your silent tears

Turn yourself around
Come away from the edges
Love can’t hold you there
And the fight cannot be won
Until you let yourself heal

05.07.08

Summer

2008-04-27T13:56:00.003-04:00

Our best kept memories are made
When summer promises its best heat
And we long for coolness in the shade

The strength of the sun is best played
Pushing us to resistant defeat
When autumn will be long delayed

Each day will leave us frayed
When yesterday will again repeat
And we long for coolness in the shade

Along shorelines we will go to wade
Cool water to wet our feet
When autumn will be long delayed

Strong heat that cannot be swayed
Fewer places are left to meet
And we long for coolness in the shade

This season has never stayed
But is the strongest to never be beat
And we long for coolness in the shade
When autumn will be long delayed

04.27.08

Walkaway Joe

2008-04-25T20:30:00.004-04:00

I didn't want to believe
You would close the door for good
Expecting to see a reprieve
Of the figure for which you stood

You could hold two hearts of hope
Yet never let them meet
Balancing on the tight rope
And refusing to admit self defeat

You walked away from the past
And left one love behind
But it would not be your last
Do you really think God is blind?

Tonight I ended this game
I poured your liquor down the drain

04.25.08

We Will Remember

2008-04-21T19:23:00.002-04:00

Our hearts know in deep silence
The best kept dreams they behold
Of a distant place and time
Where we are sheltered from the cold

When the past wasn’t just yesterday
Not feeling the pain of losing you
We recall them with laughter and tears
These dreams that have already come true

You have gone on to that place of grace
Where your soul has been set free
Even though we will miss your smile
In our hearts you will forever be

So during these moments in silence
When our dreams dare to take flight
We feel blessed to have had your presence
In our lives you have made so bright

In memory of our husband, father, grandfather, uncle, and friend
Ralph R. Simone, Sr.
10/24/21 ~ 04/18/06

Far Away Sisters

2008-04-12T17:47:00.003-04:00

We were supposed to grow up together
Connecting our childhood to adult years
Even if sisterhood is forever
It would mean more if you were here

Between them, our children are strangers
Long distance cousins lost in time
Unable to savor the other's life flavors
Unmade memories they leave behind

We each live our lives day to day
Caught up in raising them right
They turn into empty yesterdays
And we forget what we saw in hindsight

Too far away to meet
I will never drive down your street

4.12.08

Knowing

2008-03-29T17:17:00.003-04:00

If you know me
And my inner child
Then you would surely see

That I see through you
And this game you play
I have been in your shoes
I understand your ways

But you show a cold heart
A door you frequently keep locked
Inside, it tears you apart
But that line you won't cross

If you look you'll see why
I can hear your faint cry

03.29.08

Finding Hope

2008-03-29T17:16:00.002-04:00

I sit
Here in this church
Letting Him soothe my heart
And give me the strength to believe
In us

03.29.08

Spring

2008-03-24T20:48:00.003-04:00

A season of birth

The earth bringing forth new life

A new day begins

03.24.08

Little Brother

2008-03-24T20:44:00.002-04:00

He is my brother

Kind, annoying, tall, younger

Nearest to my heart

03.24.08

Thoughts

2008-03-24T20:39:00.004-04:00

Emotions

Confused, random

Quiet, running, lost

Me, you, them, us

Feelings

03.24.08

Best Friends Forever

2008-03-24T20:31:00.003-04:00

Sometimes unbeknownst to you

I look in the mirror and see

Eyes so clear and blue

That are yours looking back at me

And I wonder if you ever recall

The memories we shared in the past

No matter how big or small

They are ours to cherish and last

There are times when you will be missed

As our paths will cross and separate

We'll fulfill our own dreams that we wished

When we blew out the candles on our cake

So even when we are far apart

Forever you'll be in this girl's heart

03.24.08

Spring On The Shore

2008-03-21T11:14:00.002-04:00

The ocean knows
In its coldness
The lonely walkers
Along its shore
Less as the season's
Wind grows warmer
As its force fades
In the seasonal transition
When winter dies

The walkers' solitude is
Now among many
Who frequent the shore
Where the spring sun
Is open and bright
That is their blanket
Of warmth
Against the breeze over
The sea
Lingering in spring's
New birth

circa 03.90
published 04.15.90 in the Sunday Eagle-Tribune

Sea Breeze High

2008-03-19T21:41:00.003-04:00

Like walking the halls of Sea Breeze High
Our footprints are many along the shore
There isn’t a question of who or why
We all take the place of alumnae before
The window reflects a part of our past
Of the memories we once made
Four years which seem to pass so fast
Become moments we try to reclaim
Sand crabs we are who walk together
Backwards, we still leave our marks
Over a long span of ten decades to forever
Tears of joy are held in our hearts
We will always walk here hand in hand
Even long after our castles turn to sand

03.19.08

Sunday Afternoons

2008-03-15T20:34:00.004-04:00

We met
Faithfully then
Weaving our lives tightly
Cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents
To eat

03.15.08

House

2008-03-15T20:34:00.002-04:00

Home
Simple, warm
Sheltering, loving, standing
Place to hold memories
Sweet

03.15.08

New Best Friend

2008-03-15T20:32:00.001-04:00

Little girls grown
Yesterday did make them strong
Sharing new friendships

03.15.08

The Brightest Color Of My Rainbow

2008-03-04T21:58:00.002-05:00

We were two little girls
So close with thoughts
And so distant with dreams
Best friends to each other
Yet always determined
To have best friends of our own
We enhanced our lives
Through the other's differences
And never let go of similarities
For fear of breaking the bond we shared
Still the years gave to us each
Identities of our own
With which we fulfill
Even with the other's beliefs
And with the memories we both have
I want you to keep
As a special remembrance
That you are and always shall be
The brightest color of my rainbow

--To Karen on our 21st birthday
Love you, Kerri
3/3/89

Recollections

2008-02-12T17:44:00.000-05:00

With determination I set them free
Haunting memories at the back of my mind
I watch them play out before me

Yet they are sometimes all I can see
Moments I try not to find
In her brown eyes I see me

Moments unlocked with just a key
When my life wasn’t so kind
I watch them play out before me

Unknowing this does not have to be
But those to whom she will bind
In her brown eyes I see me

A reaction that becomes jerk-knee
Reliving moments I hid behind
I watch them play out before me

Thankful today to be free
Of actions that still will rewind
I watch them play out before me
In her brown eyes I see me

2.12.08

Grasping

2008-02-07T17:32:00.000-05:00

Like dead leaves clinging
To winter trees in the rain
My dreams escape me

2.7.08

The Alcoholic Spouse

2008-02-03T16:18:00.001-05:00

When the priest asked for objections
I was already standing up
Supporting my friend in her projection
Of a life filled with happiness and love

Through rose colored glasses she did see
A mistake unbeknownst to her
Thinking this is how love should be
And is typical behind many closed doors

In the bottom of his glass he will see
Blurred memories of yesterday
Never realizing he can't be free
If he keeps living his life this way

Unwilling to admit he needs her
She holds on tightly to their past
Thinking they can still be forever
Wishing she could just have him back

2.3.08

Winter

2008-02-01T16:45:00.001-05:00

Where warmth is unwanted
In an already cold world
Next to a season of birth
Tangent to its sphere
Edged with mortal force
Relentlessly lingering

2.1.08

Lies

2008-02-01T16:34:00.000-05:00

If your words were like rain
They would start falling as a mist
Covering all of this inner pain
That can’t be held inside your fist
You release them into the wind
Blowing its cold lonesome song
A reminder of how you have sinned
Being where you don’t belong
It falls and leaves hurting marks
The raindrops that turn to sleet
You can hold your fist to your heart
Where the pain is growing so deep
You know what you have to do
Unless your words remain untrue

2.1.08

Understood

2008-01-29T10:21:00.000-05:00

I hear your soft words
Echo through my beating heart
True friendship begins

Happy Birthday, A.

1.29.08

Happily Never After

2008-01-28T22:02:00.001-05:00

You lie here beside me
Yet we lie together alone
And in the darkness you can’t see
That this house is a far cry from a home
I won’t dream about you tonight
As I drift off to a restless sleep
And before the darkness turns to light
I’ll have new memories that I’ll let keep
Because even if they are not real
They will carry me through the day
Thoughts that you can’t try to steal
As you only push me farther away
We can stand alone together
Until one of us gives up on forever

1.28.08

Dry Soil

2008-01-28T21:33:00.000-05:00

Thirsting
A drink of water
Will not save me quenched
Wilting too fast to rebirth
Dying

1.28.08

Storms

2008-01-28T21:21:00.000-05:00

I searched my silent soul
To look for the choice words
Trapped in a darkened hole
To be written instead here first
Warmth turned to hurt and anger
As you let the rainfall pour onto me
No umbrella for me to stand under
Visions blurred to what we can’t see
Good enough is only half the truth
In a life we play out each day
Casting shadows under the roof
Where you insist we all must stay
We each lick our wounds
For the hurting marks are there
As we brace for another round
Of the storms you always share
Lost to where you will go
In a place I refuse to know

1.28.08

Jeffrey

2008-01-19T09:56:00.000-05:00

Jewel of my heart
Edged with innocence
Free with laughter
Forever singing to my heart
Rich with warmth and pride
Empty of anything dark
Youngest and cherished son

01.18.08

Abandonment

2008-01-19T09:55:00.000-05:00

To remember them
Like they never went away
In the quiet night
When darkness stole all she had
Brings brief comfort lost to pain

01.18.08

Losing Faith

2008-01-19T09:53:00.000-05:00

I can't
Pretend it's okay
Knowing you don't love me
Casts doubt over my fragile heart
Breaking

01.18.08

The Black Sheep

2008-01-06T15:56:00.000-05:00

His darkened rage
Becomes his angry temper
That cannot be caged
Consuming the child I remember
He once laughed at the moon
And embraced in his life the sun
Which now sets each day too soon
Where I fear who he will become
Someone who finds himself broken
In a world he cannot escape
Trapped in hurt words unspoken
Bound by his own red tape
All of these things bind him
Lost to where I can't find him

01.06.08

Reflection

2008-01-05T19:40:00.000-05:00

Eyes
Sad, Brown
Searching, Seeing, Knowing
Looking in the mirror
Recognition

01.05.08

Inward Anger

2008-01-03T11:25:00.000-05:00

It grows and burns
Like fire,
And there aren't enough
Tears to put it out.
It lasts and lasts until
It finally charrs you,
Leaving smoldering smoke
That suffocates...

10.19.87

Death of a Child

2008-01-03T11:23:00.000-05:00

Tear-stained faces
Gathered in a room
For grieving.

Two strong emotions
Conflicting in a room
For remembering.

One small being
Sleeping near a clock
Forever.

9.25.87

You Yet Are Not Alone

2008-01-03T11:20:00.000-05:00

What are you doing?
Alone that you are.
Your life seems so small,
You wander not far.

How do you sleep?
Alone every night.
You protect yourself,
Yet have no fright.

When do you cry?
Alone with your thoughts.
Emotions hidden deep,
Are hardly ever sought.

Where have you been?
Alone all your life.
A world of such solitude,
Not brilliant and bright.

Why do you believe?
Alone is not lonely.
Too much is just that,
Alone and not free.

9.4.87

Loneliness

2008-01-03T11:14:00.002-05:00

It's a powerful force
Force that comes not known
Known to immobilize you
You feel emptiness
Emptiness that lasts so long
So long that seems forever
Forever taking away your time
Time that is so real
Real moments that are wasted
Wasted by the evil
Evil emotions that can kill

2.22.87

Snowdrifts

2008-01-03T11:03:00.000-05:00

Aimless destinations
They blow with the wind
Snowflakes that form
In permanent places
To settle for a while
Until another form of nature
Domineers in the day
Fighting in long cold battles
Only with the snowdrifts
That are barriers within and for
Themselves

1.26.87